a photography fear
Remember my mind declutter project? It continues on even without structured intent. I have noticed that a fear is losing it’s grip on me and is fading into a dull thought at the back of my mind. I am no longer so scared of running out of photos for this blog or feeling an urgency to take as many photos. I am more focused on what I choose to photograph, when I am willing to carry the weight of an SLR and how many photos I take. Time and practice and mistakes has taught me what I like to photograph and the moments or subjects I treasure most. I like this sense of calm. Even more so that it is arising even as I notice my vision continuing to deteriorate. I want to take photos for as long as I am able and passionate. But this less anxious approach is more inline with my desire for minimalism and simplicity too.
I’ve been sorting through my unedited photos. My potential photos for my beloved blog numbered at over 6000. With this fear lifting and a commitment to my aesthetics and desire for quality over quantity, I have cut this file to 500 photos. It feels good.
In this process I came across some photos from an engagement party a few years ago. I emailed them to the couple somewhat apologetically as I criticised my old images. The reply I received from the groom giving great thanks for lifting his tough work day “more than I could know” made my criticism of the images fade away too. For I had actually done what I love to do. Made someone happy with my perspective of the world while enthusiastically exploring my way through it.